Our Month Long Technology Fast
Our family recently underwent a month long technology fast. One whole month where we eschewed screens for time with each other and for developing and remembering other talents.
Why We Did It
Sometimes you take a look around and you don’t like what you see. The atmosphere in our home was becoming a little lax. Chores were getting skipped, school work forgotten, and nobody seemed able to help out in our home without complaining or being told myriad times. And yet, everyone had time to binge watch Netflix, play for hours on the WiiU, or stare indefinitely at their tablets. Tempers were flaring as arguments occurred over who got to watch what when, attitudes were sour and disrespectful as they took on the shape of characters from TV shows. Our teenagers were constantly glued to their tablets or phones, even during times we were supposed to be spending as a family. Despite rules that screens were not to be in bedrooms or bathrooms, we would constantly find them tucked away with them. Our younger children would wake up with the sun just so they could be the first to pick a television show. My toddler knew the entire theme song to Doc McStuffins–and how to turn the TV on and get to Hulu. And in one month, one of our teens sent over 2000 text messages. Technology was controlling my children’s lives, and so, it had to go.
What it Entailed
When we set kids down to explain we would be doing a technology fast, we let them know what that entailed. For kids, it meant no screens–no television, no video games in any format, no tablets. We would still allow the computer to be used for school work, but only mom and dad would know the password and a time limit would be given. For our oldest two, we also limited phone use. They got their phone when they needed to leave the house and for 30 minutes in the afternoon to check and respond to text messages. For RJ and I, it meant removing social media and games from our phones and limiting our computer usage to only what was necessary.
We didn’t set a time limit for how long we would be disconnected. We told kids we wanted to see better attitudes, better relationships, and better usage of their time. When we saw improvement, we would end our fast.
How it Went
I’m not gonna lie, that first week was horrid. The last three months I had been surviving by turning on Doc McStuffins and semi-sleeping on the couch while Lenora binged watched and that option was out the window now. Thankfully, I was feeling much better pregnancy wise. Olivia would ask and ask about screen time and pout about the lack of it. Everyone was bored. Life was overall unfair. At least one of our teens felt we were ruining her life after she lost full phone priviledges. RJ and I also forwent TV this week. Normally, we only watch it in the evenings after kids go to bed and occasionally at night, so we didn’t think it would be too difficult. What we found though, was that it was hard for us to wind down for the night. Instead of relaxing, we searched for work to do or books to read, which on one hand was nice and productive. On the other, it meant we stayed up way later because that cue to start relaxing and shutting down from the day was missing. It was a routine change that was hard to adjust to. In fact, we only lasted one week without TV. Pathetic, I know.
About the second week in things started to settle. Kids spent more time playing with neighbor kids. They were still bored at times, but without an alternative, would find things to do.
They started treating each other kinder and intentionally spending more time with one another. We saw talents being used and honed. Many, many books were read. Slowly the slothfulness from work began to fade and we saw chores once more being done and with little or no complaint. Their overall dispositions were more positive.
My phone battery lasted longer without the presence of certain social media apps. The habit of constantly checking my phone was hard to overcome, but with nothing on there to really appeal to me, I found that I was more present as well. Being more mindful of when I was on my computer and only getting on to do actual work meant that kids school work was done more consistently and there was less opportunity for them to slack off and tell me they were done when they were not. It also meant I spent more evenings working, so even after our “one week TV fast” I had less time for it.
There were some allowances. When several kids got the stomach bug, we relaxed our rule and let the sick kids veg out in front of the TV. And occasionally, we would all sit down as a family and watch a movie. And instead of having kids just be in the room and on different devices the whole time, they were all mentally present as well.
Bringing Tech Back
With the beginning of summer, we felt it wasn’t entirely feasible to continue a full fast. After all, there are times during the summer when you just cannot send kids outside, so we ended our technology fast. Before we did so, we sat down with kids and went over some guidelines. We reiterated our family rules–mainly, devices are to be used only downstairs in public places. We also talked about signs to look for that would signal they were being controlled by technology and needed to take a break, such as bad attitudes, fighting with family, planning your day around it, constantly needing to have it on your person, etc. Ultimately, we want our children to be able to govern themselves and their usage of devices. We want them to be able to recognize when it may be too much and they should step back. We also let them know that if we saw they were having trouble doing this, we would have a fast again.
I was hopeful that having a month away and finding other ways to fill their time, that those habits would stick. However, our kids were only too happy to have everything back. It is still much better than it was. I do have to remind them to limit exposure to TV and devices and go do other things, but they do it without the attitude. The atmosphere in our home has definitely improved. While it wasn’t always easy, it was definitely worth it.
