Parenting Made Practical

I recently reviewed both the Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think book and Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think DVD from Parenting Made Practical.  My interest in these products came not so much from wanting to “tame the lecture bug,” since lecturing is not my de facto, but because I was interested in what this couple had to say about getting your kids to think.  As a parent of teenagers and more to follow, teaching our children how to think for themselves is high on my priority list. 


DVD vs. Book

Since the book and DVD both discuss the same material I am going to discuss them simultaneously, pointing out differences as I go along.

The DVD begins straight away.  There is no menu screen, so the moment you put it in it is going to begin playing the lecture.  My husband said it felt like when you transfer a VHS to DVD.  Not really a problem, but something to be aware of.  The DVD is approximately an hour long.  The hosts are husband and wife, Joey and Carla Link, the founders of Parenting Made Practical.  There is a brief moment towards the end where the sound doesn’t line up, so his lips do not match up with what you are hearing.  Joey appears a bit more comfortable, moving around and trying to engage the audience.  Carla sat at a table the whole time and was a bit expressionless, perhaps not quite as comfortable in front of people.  

If you watch the DVD, they assume you have downloaded the accompanying worksheet, which is available for free from their website.  The DVD follows the outline of the worksheet and screens with the answers are put up at different intervals.  While you can certainly use it with the book, the layout is a little different, and I didn’t personally feel the need for it.  I felt with the DVD its purpose was to give you a visual copy of what they were saying, whereas with the book, you already have that.  
The DVD felt a bit wander-y at times.  I felt the book had a much more focused thought process, leading from one topic to the next, so it was easier to follow. 

The book goes into more detail about each of the topics they discuss in the DVD, with the exception of temperaments.  I fully expected there to be a chapter devoted to temperaments, given how much they discussed its importance and the time that was spent on it in the DVD, but if I hadn’t been looking for it, I may have missed it.  

There are plenty of examples in the book of ways they, or others, have used their method.  They mention some of these on the DVD and there is a role playing scene to demonstrate the difference between lecturing and their method, which obviously you don’t get in the book.  At the end of each chapter in the book is a testimonial, which is not included on the DVD.  

I also felt there was more covered in the book than they had time for on the DVD, so you get a better feel for what they are actually teaching and why.  If you want a condensed version, go for the DVD, but the book does a much better job at explaining it.


Disclosure

Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, we do not believe in original sin.  We believe that man will be punished for their own sins and not for Adam’s transgression.  However, this couple very much believes that a child’s heart is full of sin from the moment they are born and that belief fuels the way they think about children and approach parenting, just as our belief shapes our views.  I just want you as readers to understand that a bias exists.

I also feel it’s important to point out that their definition of lecturing was different than mine.  They are speaking more on the angry lecture, or what I would describe as a rant.  I view lecturing more as explaining to children what they did wrong, why and what I expect from them in a calm, or sometimes irritated, tone. 

What I Disliked

My husband and I were a bit put off watching the DVD by the demeaning manner to which he described children.  The words he used most were: liar, deceiver, manipulator, and sinner.  It wasn’t that he said, “sometimes kids lie,” which is true, but that “kids are liars,” as if lying was what made up their character.  This was true of the other adjectives as well.  We did not notice him speak about children in a positive light and found this upsetting.  While they do mention kids lying, manipulating and deceiving parents in the book, it is not in forms of absolutes, it’s kids can be master manipulators, which sets the tone a little differently, but that same attitude prevailed, just more subtly.

On the DVD he also states things such as, “A child forgetting to put laundry away is a sin.”  Well, no, the sin is disobeying the parent.  I would be in deep water if failing to put laundry away was a sin.  However, he doesn’t really clarify that on the DVD.  In the book it is clearer that it is the lack of listening and obedience that the child should be called on and not so much the laundry.

There were parts of there method that I directly disagreed with and would never implement.  There was one example in particular in the book, where a child gets in trouble for lying at school and their advice to the parents is to give her the silent treatment and exclude her from family activities (including family dinner), until she is ready to repent, which lasted for two days.  In relating this story to my husband, my older girls (15 and 13) asked me why you would treat someone you love like that.  I know for our children, they would see that type of behavior as us giving up on and abandoning them.  Perhaps there are other families where this type of tough love would work, but ours is not one of them.

What I Found Was Okay

On the DVD, they lump all ages of children together, although I felt it was geared more toward tween and teenage children.  Towards the end of the book, they do mention that children under eight should be approached differently, because while a child who is younger may lie to you, they don’t really understand the implications.  I really appreciated them mentioning this in the book and wished they had on the DVD also.

I did really like their definition that being responsible means not having to be reminded.  My husband and I actually plan to implement that definition in teaching our children what it means to show you are responsible.  Mostly, I felt the information being presented was common sense, and not really anything new, although sometimes it is nice to be reminded.

Conclusion

Overall, the tone of these two products made it hard for me to read/watch, although I found the book much more palatable.  I would recommend reading reviews of the other Crew members, in order to have a fully balanced idea of whether or not this product is for you.


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